within the last few weeks, one of the crucial ladies who spoke with our correspondent mentioned severe apprehension, pressure and a total lack of peace as the end result of their lack of ability to get married.
some of the girls, who preferred to be merely called Titi stated she had taken the difficulty of marriage as a do-or-die affair as a result of “interior power” however that as a lot as she had tried, frustration had continuously been the outcome.
At 37, the businesswoman who sells clothes in Ikeja, the Lagos State capital in western Nigeria, instructed P.M.information that she shouldn't be discovering life simple.
“what's happiness and not using a man in a woman’s lifestyles?”she asked our correspondent right through a chat on Badoo, a relationship website on the internet.
She had dated a number of males with some promising marriage, however with out pleasant the promise.
“you can’t think about that within the final three years, i have dated about eight men, but the relationship was regularly quick-lived just because I ask for his or her dedication.
“i'm not getting any younger and that i cry every time I see my mates with their husbands and children.
“If at 37 I don’t have a toddler or a permanent man, when would i have them? Is it when my pores and skin has wrinkled? she requested our correspondent.
Chioma (surname withheld), 35, has discovered herself patronising among the social interaction sites on the web.
The banker instructed our correspondent that she is on Eskimi, 2go, Badoo, Whatsapp, facebook, Twitter as well as 4clique, a website online that used to be launched in Nigeria days in the past.
“we will’t tell the particular broom in the bunch that kills a fly,” she instructed P.M.information on why she patronises such choice of social interplay web sites.
“I always trade my identify within the totally different sites but the final intention is to get a husband,” she brought.
Chioma informed P.M.information that she is actually worried about the state of affairs, including that she lives without difficulty (in a mini-flat and has a automobile), “however who do i've to experience this comfort with me?
“i've tried a hook up programme on a Lagos-based radio station, however my age is now a significant component hindering my dream of being married,” she lamented pleading with our married correspondent, who she thought to be a bachelor, to “lend a hand dry my tears.”
A married lady, who gave her identify as Mrs. Blessing Aguebor and resident in Oshodi, tested that the problem of lack of great men for marriage is giving many ladies sleepless nights.
She narrated the touching story of her good friend who was disappointed through her boyfriend of 5 years when it was time to “relax”.
“My friend used to be 29 when he met this man in Benin and so they dated for 5 years. the person was all the time giving the girl hope without her understanding the man had other plans. The 12 months he mounted for his or her marriage was once the year he travelled abroad without even informing my pal.
“It used to be later he referred to as her and requested her to find another man as a result of he still had many extra years to hustle. My friend nearly went mad.
“She is 36 now and not using a man. I had to persuade her to relocate to Lagos so that presumably out of the inhabitants right here, she would find anyone. it's pathetic,” she mentioned.
A 38-yr outdated business lady in Ketu, Mrs. Rita Adewunmi, narrated how she misplaced her first husband to a friend, Idayat, who was once desperate for a husband.
in step with Mrs. Adewunmi who remarried last year, Idayat used to be 36 and needed a husband but her search was never-ending.
“I was once always encouraging her and made her a part of my family. She would all the time lend a hand me deal with the kids when I go to the market.
“With time, she took over my husband without my knowledge until the day I caught them pink-surpassed and that used to be the end of my marriage. girls are like hunters at the moment,” she mentioned.
asked why she was not married at 34, Blessing Osuoha, a nurse with a private hospital in Abuja, retorted: “because of this I’m on this social website. Why are you asking? Is it a nasty idea if you suggest to me?”
She explained that existence used to be changing into insufferable with no husband.
“My friends and family participants are aways asking once they would come and ‘chop’ rice, and that i keep hoping,” she added.
a marriage counsellor in Lagos, Mrs. Victoria Aliu, told P.M.information that scarcity of ‘real men’ is becoming a terrible situation for girls prepared for marriage.
She blamed the problem partly on the Nigerian financial system, confusion among the many bachelors on their alternatives of the ladies they want as other halves and the attitudes of the spinsters.
“many ladies, whether consciously or not, behave irritably every so often, forgetting that the man just beside them at each cut-off date may just were nursing the right way to begin a dialog that would result in marriage.
“another girls are very choosy and unserious at their early stages of adulthood. they only open their eyes to discover that their chums are all married and that they are the only ones left on the bus stop. Then it turns into a terrible case for them,” she explained.